The Muffin of Power
by Aislin Oriel
Summary: This is an insane crossover fic. If you like Heero and you like crossovers, this one's for you! Enjoy!


The Muffin of Power  
  
By Aislin Oriel  
  
AN: This is a cross-over fic. If you have not played the Legend of Zelda, Guardians Crusade and/or Azure Dreams GET OUT OF HERE! I mean... I suggest you do so. Or it uh... won't make sense... very much... (gomen) MMM... THE TRIFORCE OF YUMMY-GOODNESS... SORRY... ANYWAY.....  
  
We begin our story as our heroes journey through the dreaded Darkwood Forest - home of terrors beyond the imagination - Pokemon, Digimon, and the odd Allen Shazair here and there. Who are our heroes you might ask? And wouldn't you like to know. Well, it only makes sense that our heroes are Link, Nehani and Koh of course.  
  
"I wonder why they call it Darkwood forest? The trees here should be called light-wood." Koh said.  
  
"Light-pink-wood to be exact." Nehani corrected.  
  
"I wonder why they call it The Muffin of Power." Link said, seeing as they were all wondering.  
  
"Well if we knew now, we'd know the ending already." Nehani pointed out.  
  
"Yeah well, it sounds like some kind of rip-off from my world... but a muffin?" Link scratched his nose. (Hehe.. big pointy thing... hehe... sorry.)  
  
"Well then you should know the most about it right? But it sounds like some kind of monster to me." Koh said.  
  
"I think we all can relate to monsters." Nehani added.  
  
"Probably, unless the part of the triforce that I got was called the Carrot of Courage, then we have to get the Muffin of Power away from Gannondorf and I guess we could trust Zelda with the Apricot of Wisdom." Link pondered.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about you crazy elf?" Nehani asked.  
  
"I am not an elf! I'm a Hylian!" Shouted Link.  
  
"Next thing you're going to tell me is I'm not a fairy." Nehani said matter-of-factly.  
  
"Well, I usually get along with fairies, so you probably aren't." Link reasoned.  
  
"Well then what do you think I am you moron?" Nehani asked, slightly annoyed.  
  
"That's easy. You're a giant dragonfly!" Link laughed.  
  
"Did someone say dragon?" Van asked as he came out from behind a tree.  
  
"Huh? Where'd you come from?" Nehani asked.  
  
Van, ignoring the question asked, "Uh, isn't he with you?" He pointed far up the path to where Koh was running along, occasionally jumping like a maniac.  
  
"Unfortunately." Link said.  
  
"Hey, hey! HEY GUYS! UH HELLO!?" Nehani practically blew a capillary she was yelling so hard.  
  
"Yeah?" Link asked as her face regained a less angry colour.  
  
"Um, this is just a suggestion, and correct me if I'm wrong but does this make sense?" she motioned ahead of them, further up the path and flew around in short fairy-like bursts, coming close to having a spasm attack.  
  
"Um... no.... it doesn't." Link confirmed as the three beheld the sight before them.  
  
"What kind of monster is that?" Koh asked as he hopped next to them, returning from his little hyper episode.  
  
By now, our trusty King of Flannel - I mean Fanelia - himself was up inspecting the large metal robotty (is that even a word?) thingy that was somehow wedged half in the ground, half in a big oak tree and half in the air. (I'm pretty sure that's not possible but we won't tell them that.)  
  
"Wow! This reminds me of that time Escaflo-"  
  
"Shut up, move aside! Move aside!" Nehani ordered in her only most bossy voice and nearly flew up his nose.  
  
"Hey! I get it!" she declared triumphantly.  
  
"Do you know what it is?" Koh questioned.  
  
"No, but you have elf ears so that your nose would look smaller," she explained to Link who was very impatient as it was, "And you have monkey ears because.... well I haven't figured that one out yet..." Nehani said to Van.  
  
"Hey!!!" Van said intelligently in his defense (he's very sensitive about his ears).  
  
"But what exactly is this thing?" Koh began to inspect it and flicked its one antenna-thing.  
  
"Was your mother or father a primate?"  
  
"Anyway, I have an idea... I'll slash it with my sword!" Link suggested.  
  
"That's not always the answer for everything." Koh replied.  
  
"It isn't?" Link shot one eyebrow up so that it almost disappeared  
  
into his Robin Hood rip-off of a hat.  
  
"No, sometimes if you hit something too hard your sword will even break. And then there's curses and rust and..."  
  
Now Koh had lost all of Links attention (which was very little) as they witnessed the shenanigans of Nehani and Van who where engaged in a fistfight.  
  
"Yeah! Well your brother was a mosquito!" swing at an attempt at squashing.  
  
"Oh really? Well your brother was a bird!" jab.  
  
"He was."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Oh." looking fazed for a second but soon recovering,  
  
"Skinny!" tongue sticking out.  
  
"Skinnier!" flick.  
  
"Your mother dresses you funny!"  
  
"Well atleast she doesn't dress me in leaves!"  
  
Link and Koh turned to one another in an attempt to tune the screaming two out. "Anyway, what should we do with this thing?" Link asked.  
  
"Well we could always take a piece of it and make it into a change purse. Those are in style this season you know."  
  
"Really? Sounds practical but I have a feeling that it could be used a little more better."  
  
"How about a sword hilt?"  
  
"That's a good idea!"  
  
Suddenly there was another glint of metal from the trees.  
  
"Freeze!" a voice ordered.  
  
Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to look as a guy about Koh and Links age stepped out, glaring at them vacantly.  
  
"What do you think you're doing with my Gundam?"  
  
"Your what?" Van asked.  
  
"Shut up bitch! Can't you see we're busy!" Nehani screeched at the stranger.  
  
Link stepped forward to the head of the roster, making action to draw his big impressive swordy thing.  
  
The intruder just turned his steely glare on Nehani. He kind of looked like he was squinting, so he probably couldn't see her all that well but that nearsightedness can only be contributed to excessive hours typing and beeping on a laptop. (Not really typing, just clicking random keys occasionally.)  
  
"Oooh... a shiny thing..." Koh just caught sight of his gun.  
  
"Hn? This?" Our mysterious dude asked.  
  
"Can I touch it?"  
  
"No!!!!!"  
  
"Don't you take that tone with us mister!" everyone's favorite fairy scolded our outraged anti-social psychopath.  
  
"Why are the trees pink anyway?" Koh asked.  
  
"Which part of this thing should we use for the sword hilt?" asked our elf friend.  
  
"I am so not an elf!!!!" Link popped out of Darkwood Forest and into the dangerous, uncharted territory of Author Space. He was about to take an attempt at strangulation of the almighty Authoress but she, with help from Hammer Space, gave him a mallet in the face, sending him careening back into the appropriate story.  
  
"I wouldn't try that if I were you. Last time I tried my line on her she had me... it's too degrading to say..." mysteriouso guy shook his head in a disgraceful but slightly enjoyable manner.  
  
Link's pants folded up around his elf-ears and he - oh sorry, his 'shiny spandex' - (why are they shiny anyway? I mean are they silver, or just white and shiny?) and he... and he... oh I give up. I can't even remember what I was mad about again... well Link gets off easy this time...  
  
"You were angry because he tried to strangulate you." Van reminded.  
  
"Oh yeah, that. Thanks Van. I'll make sure to include you in my dreams tonight."  
  
"Ooooooh..." Van glowered so infectiously (sp?) it was adorable.  
  
"Hey!!!" mysterious guy took offense. That was his realm and his alone! This was not acceptable!  
  
The great Authoress cackles wildly at her superior power over the bishonen.  
  
"Uh, not that this isn't important but isn't there a story here that is being neglected?" Link asked in that way of his. You know, the way...  
  
"It's so shiny..." Koh, still in a trance-like state poked at the foreign gun.  
  
"Haven't any of you seen a gun before? Why do you not fear for your lives? Has someone told you about me?" mysterious guy questioned.  
  
The Authoress shakes her head. She has vowed to never tell of his inconfidance.  
  
"What's a gun?" Link asked.  
  
"Ugh!!!" the guy said in exasperation.  
  
"Um, can you hold on a second? Would you please stop using the word 'guy', it brings back sad memories." Koh requested.  
  
"Oh yeah, sure, sorry."  
  
In that case, the mysterious person was becoming annoyed by the lack of terror instilled in the hearts of his victims. It had been a while since he fed last and... oops, that's the wrong story.  
  
He began to panic so he resorted to his second last action, "Which of you wants to die first?" he asked, always being polite.  
  
While Nehani was doing 'He does, he does!' motions at Van, Link reached for an arrow out of his imitation Robin Hood quill, and oh-so- skillfully positioned it on his bow as a challenge.  
  
Suddenly, a flash from the forest and standing between Link and the mysterious person was a young woman with blonde hair.  
  
"Stop! Stop this now!" she ordered.  
  
"Zelda?" Link asked, since he always seems to mistake every girl for Zelda.  
  
"Relena, what are you doing here?" guess what, his name is Heero, asked. (Never saw it coming did you?)  
  
"That's not important. What happened to Wing Zero?" the girl now revealed as Relena asked.  
  
"Hn? What - oh, I don't know, I thought I needed a change. Maybe I'll pilot the Epyon from now on. It's a little more feminine." he answered.  
  
"Are you serious?" Relena asked.  
  
"No, as a matter of fact I have no idea why it's here. Oh wait, I tried to blow it up and I guess, well, as you can see, it just landed over here, got lodged in the ground and a tree and looks a little charbroiled. I originally came here, intending to find it if it hadn't been fully destroyed but that doesn't explain why you are here." Heero answered.  
  
"I.... um... bye!!!!" she ran off into the forest the opposite direction that she had appeared from.  
  
By now Link, being tired of this, and the outstanding fact that he had little patience due to the tedious adventures and run-on lectures from a certain boring owl, fairy, masked stranger, goron, basically all people in general and inanimate objects like stones and signs, had lowered his bow and arrow, seeing that this guy obviously couldn't be all that bad because he knew Zelda.  
  
"Hey!!!!!" Van shouted excitedly, he rushed over to the machine and studied the wings on the back of it that were covered with soot.  
  
"Why does that thing have black angel wings?" Nehani asked.  
  
"Did the poor thing die?" Van questioned Heero, eyes pleading.  
  
"Oh, no, I just made some customizations to Zero and used a sufficient amount of gundanium to design and create the appropriate shielding wings for atmospheric re-entry." Heero explained.  
  
"Um, what?" Koh asked.  
  
"Never mind."  
  
"Zelda, help me pry this shield off of old Wingy here." Link was tempting his fate with his misjudged stupidity.  
  
"Were you born stupid or was it something you learned?" Nehani crossed her arms peevishly.  
  
"Get away! Get away! This is not the business of civilians!" Heero ordered everyone away from the wrecked thing.  
  
"Hey, what does this button do?" Koh asked from inside the cockpit.  
  
"Push it and find out." Heero said with a devious glare.  
  
"Don't do it." Van instructed, also glaring at Heero.  
  
"Who died and made you king?" Link demanded.  
  
Van just looked at him like he was the stupidest whatever he was in the world.  
  
"Oh well, I already pushed it..... hey, why am I seeing all these swirly images - wow! Is that me? Why am I - oh my..." Koh trailed off.  
  
"What is it?!" Nehani questioned curiously, flying up behind him to get a better look.  
  
"Go away!!!" Koh swung his arm back and smacked Nehani into the seat behind him.  
  
"Zero system off." Heero commanded.  
  
There was a brief whirring noise before it was silent again.  
  
"Hey! Where'd it go?" Koh asked, disappointedly.  
  
*wait for the next installment to find out what the hell's going on... r/r pleeeeeeeeease. - Aislin* 


End file.
